As you all know relegation was a hammer blow for our club that will lead to inevitable cutbacks as the club is required to balance the books for the season ahead. This has already started with the release of many players and the sales of Craig Gardner and Roger Johnson and we have been given a sneak preview of plans for cost savings and raising vital revenue.
1. Scott Dann will be sold to Liverpool, Cameron Jerome to Stoke and Liam Ridgewell to West Brom (Even if they don’t want him).
2. Chris Hughton and Paul Trollope will be registered as players to bolster the squad.
3. All goals will be followed by a sponsor’s video on the big screen. This idea was planned for last season but with McLeish in charge potential sponsors didn’t believe that they would get their money’s worth.
4. The players will travel to away Europa Cup games by Ryanair or Easyjet. They will then travel on to their destinations by coach or by horse and cart in the event that we draw a team in the Ukraine.
5. The new yellow third kit will be limited to one set each. If any player damages theirs they will have to get there mums to sew it back together again.
6. The free under-eight season ticket will be retained but will be limited to one child only. Any subsequent child will have to earn their ticket by spending a week working at the Xtep factory in Shanghai.
7. Beau Brummie will be loaned out to West Midlands Police to work as a sniffer dog.
8. The phrase “Keep Right On” will be sold to Volkswagen for an upcoming advertising campaign. From 1st August fans will no longer be able to use this phrase. As an alternative the club suggests the following phrases that were commonly heard at St Andrews last season.
“4-4-2”
“Pass it forward for god’s sake”
“I can’t believe I’ve sat through twenty years of this s***”
“What do you mean that you’ve run out of all hot food!!”
Keep Right On everybody (Say it while I still can).
You can follow me on Twitter (@Aylesbury_Blue)
Well I sat,read & laughed…. BUT THEN….. I read it again & again & again and started to panic! 50% of this could actually be true! Especially comment 6. All those poor kids working for a season ticket they dont want, they only reason they come with their dad is to get a balti pie & so they can tell their mates at school that the bloke next to them shouted a “naughty word” at the ref!
Great writing as always Aylesbury Blue, “Keep It Up” instead of KRO.
Ha hilarious. Hopefully only Jerome to Stoke will happen – otherwise we will be late for all our European fixtures with Ryanair! Still at check-in come kick off!
Unfortunatly it seems pheasable no dare I say inevitable that all of the above will happen
Just read foster to be loaned out for 1 Million it’s absolutley pathetic I fear we’re heading back to the Kumar days ( please no physadelic kit ).
i’ve posted a few times and predicted this scenario several months ago. As funny as th article reads, it is sadly a true reflection of the current state of affairs. This is not about balancing the books after relegation, Blues are the least affected of all three clubs relegated. due to the fact we are playing next season in the money pot they call european football, but where as the likes of Blackpool and West Ham have sold key players, part of the funds recouped have been past back to the clubs respective manaagers to bring new players in. Blues however seem hell bent on selling anyone wearing a pair of football boots.
over the next few weeks we can be sure Foster, Ridgewell, furguson, Michel, Zidic, Jerome, Beudesure (whatever his name is) and i dare say even one or 2 of our better youngsters if offers are made.
The money is being taken out the club before it can be siezed by the authorities. we had the smallest squad in the premier league, we will be going into the season with 25 less players and only replaced with 5 players released by there previous clubs. There is no sponsor for the shirts for the new season, there is no plan on how they intend to play up to 60 games in the league, cup and europe. some of the statements from Pannu are just unbelievable “no player will leave without the approval of the manager” yeah right!!!
i genuinely believe that the assets are being stripped with no regard for the coming season. the current owner expects to lose the club when the court case starts and into administration shortly after. irrespective of this, taking £50million of football tallent out of the club and facing a season with a massively reduced squad will almost certainly end with a relegation fight, not to mention a humiliating experience in europe. unfortunately i don’t thing the current owners will care what happens to the club once the assets are removed
Excellent article, AylesburyBlue! Hilarious. I hope sponsors aren’t listening, cos they sound like some realistic decisions around football recently.
Ha ha ha.
Dean64 – Foster being loaned out for £1m is the best cost cutting method we’ve heard thus far. I’d much rather that than sell him!! If we go back up, we still have a Prem quality keeper on our books, but whilst in the Championship we don’t have to pay his wages or lose him to a rival team. If he suggested he wants Prem football, a loan move to a Prem side would suit him down to the ground.
Keep Right On (Shall we at Joys and Sorrows try to buy that as a trademark?)
😉
The easiest way to collect a chunk of change to help clear the debts & the loan secured on St Andrews by the incompetents in charge of OUR club would be to put Pann-who/ & his idiot boss in a set of stocks and let the fans punch the two liars in their fat thieving faces.
KRO
Rusell Dempsey
I never thought of the Foster thing like that makes sense the way you put it
But realistically with everything thats going on can you see us getting promoted.The crux is he is not really that good a kepper and noboddy has made an offer so the Blues board have come up with this idea of loaning him out and saving his wages and chargeing 1 million on top.Several clubs out there are or were looking for a top class keeper not once as Foster been linked with any of them ( other than the scum ).Don’t get me wrong I think Foster is a good keeper and would me more than happy to see him in the sticks next season but he ain’t top draw.
one of the most depressing things about this pre-season so far has to be the constant rumours regarding liam ridgewell. why oh why, doesn’t somebody just take him….please!!!!
That’s 3 minutes of my life I won’t get back.
Inane, pointless and probably only funny to a brummy
Thanks for the input Mr Judd
Dont come on a Brummy site and make pointless comments then??, nobody made you read it….plum!!!!!!!.
As for the Foster situation,I really dont think it wise to get rid of a player that could bag us 10 points a season in the championship.I understand he’s on high wages but taking him out of the equation means we are less of a team, cutting our chances of getting him back???…counter productive. Doyle is decent but hes not the same standard as Foster.
Im trying to remain positive but must admit the Foster and Ferguson transfer/rumours have me worried exactly Pannu means by “no firesale”????.
KRO
LOL @ point 3. Glad to see some of us are retaining a sense of humour, well done AB.
Make sure you apologise to Mr Judd for putting so many big words in that it took him 3 minutes to mouth the article to himself.
O.k. I was at the horse and cart before I saw the joke, we can’t afford a horse.
Dean 64 – I would have thought Foster’s retirement from international football would be the key. He has indicated he’s happy playing football, happy to be in the Midlands. That would restrict him to Wolves, Baggies (both not enough money?) and Villa (Given). I’d imagine that would be why they haven’t been queuing up to bid for him…
As things stand, I can’t see us going back up no, but if we buy a couple of players (defender and attacker we’ve been strongly linked with) as well as get a few more in on a free / on loan, I think we will, yes….
KRO
Funny? yeah, sort of. But i must say I am more depressed about Blues’ immediate future now than at any time in the last 15 years. All that have departed last year’s squad thus far were predictable, but where some are going is worrying – 2 to Blackpool so far, for example. 12 months ago Blackpool were v v much Blues’ poor cousins, as they have been all of the last decade (and more), and few thought they would stay up while most thought we would – but now we have both dropped down, they are assembling a squad that makes even them look more likely to go back up than we do. Circus tickets must be selling well. I v much hope i am wrong, but at this stage i cannot see Blues having a hope in hell of finishing in the top 2 of the Championship, and even a play off place looks a tall order too with the number of strong Championship squads that are lining up so far: by comparison, Blues’ squad looks quite ho hum. At least selling Foster and Zigic when they both happen, as they will, will give a seemingly broke owner some cash to pay his legal bills. We may have to have Hughton run on at this rate (to partner Jerome?? Who cares – I’d be Stoked to see him go)- but whether or not he does, i sincerely hope he does manage to deliver what at this stage does indeed look like needing to be a spectacular miracle to me. KRO, always.
PS: Cas, i dont disagree with a lot of what you said, but for XXX’s sake i would have thought you could at least get the spellings of our players’ names right!!! Do you read your prgramme? or the news???
sad to say but blues will go into administration, the crooks who own us have their assets frozen and with prison looming for Yeung , the club will go. Who will want to buy blues ? , we have a no squad , no sponsorship and apparently 30% down on season tickets !! At least Sullivan & Gold put money in the club and improved the ground , etc .
It’s taken a while but fans are now waking up to the fact that our club is being run by cowboys and our players are being sold not for the benefit of BCFC but to help prop up Yeung’s ailing business empire.The idea that Foster would go out on loan for £1 million plus payment of his wages is further evidence of how bad things are.A £1 million plus the payment of his wages? This is chicken feed but illustrates how desperate things are.Where are they going to get a better replacement? Nowhere.Now we hear that Carr is not happy with what is happening at the club.Surprise surprise.This board have no intention of making any effort to get back into the Premiership,their only concern is their own financial situation-that is all they are interested in.We had an article on this site recently telling us things were not that bad.I hope the writer of such drivel seeks help as a matter of urgency.Yeung was a disaster waiting to happen but too many people – especially sections of the local media – were happy to accept the spin without question.No doubt when the club goes into administration they will start sounding off (I can almost hear Tom Ross now) and will be outraged etc etc.The only question I would ask is why they have remained silent for so long.
Hi, I dont think foster loan is a good idea atal. He is only on a3 year contract so when he comes back to the club he will be able to be sold for practically nothing. And we wont have had the use of him !