View From the South – Birmingham City vs Everton

Here is Bazza’s report – if you can bring yourself to read it!!

Will was serving the last of a three game ban for a red card that he picked up for an over the top tackle nine months ago! 😀

His wife was being induced on this Saturday morning and it makes me wonder, as a member of the medical profession myself, just what training Obstetricians and Gynaecologists get these days; fancy inducing a bloke’s wife and putting her into labour on a match day? Quite incredible! However, more of that later; my son was unable to come with me so it was ‘O sole mio’ in the car traversing the well trodden road north towards Birmingham. I called in at Baginton Oak to meet up with Chris and Kev (an Evertonian) and grabbed a pint before we set off for the rest of the journey to St Andrews.

On the way Will sent us texts anxious to know the line up which I eventually was able to tell him from BRMB news that it was Fahey in for the suspended Gardner. Our text conversation went like this:

Me: Noooooooooooo Fahey is in!
Will: Liar!
Me: What do you mean? I’m known as Bazza the Truthful!
Will: So what’s the team?
Me: One change, suspended Gardner replaced by Fahey. 🙁

This was the end of the exchange as I’m sure he couldn’t believe it either. I had pleaded in my preview of this match that this change should not happen and it should be Beausejour. I subsequently found out that he was injured but nevertheless this was a team set up to try and prevent Everton scoring rather than have a go at them.

Anyway having parked up, got to the ground, grabbed a Chicken Curry pie, the filling of which, was so volcanically hot that it took the lining off the roof of my mouth. I took it to my seat and reckoned it would be 15 minutes in before it would be completely consumed. It actually took 13 minutes 50 seconds and this procedure was of greater interest to those around me than anything going on on the pitch! We played the same tried and failed system as we did against Wigan and were lucky top get nil in that game. Everton are a far better side than Wigan and despite us having five in midfield, they bossed this area of the pitch without necessarily pulling up trees themselves.

Everton in garishly pink shirts and socks with black shorts made a promising start and knocked the ball around in confident style despite their current precarious position. Cahill got on the end of a deep cross from Baines, after he had been found in plenty of space by Fellaini, but his downward header was collected by Ben Foster. Everton were finding plenty of space on the left flank and a cross from Yakubu picked out the run of Seamus Coleman, but his header back across goal was cut out by Foster. Yakubu dragged a low shot across the face of goal as Everton made all the running and Cahill headed wide from a Baines centre.

Birmingham did not threaten at all until the 26th minute when Cameron Jerome missed Blues’ one and only chance of the half. Sylvain Distin back-headed a chip from Barry Ferguson into the path of Jerome and the striker took the ball in his stride but shinned his shot wide of Howard’s left hand post. Jerome should have scored and it looked even at this early stage that mistakes such as this from Everton or a set piece were the only ways Blues were going to score.

Everton were soon back on the offensive and a slip by Roger Johnson left Yakubu with a clear run at goal. Luckily for Blues, Foster managed to get a hand onto his goal bound cross-shot which took some of the sting out of it but it still required a desperate lunge from Liam Ridgewell behind him to complete the clearance and prevent Everton taking a deserved lead. The visitors were showing fluency and a run by Yakubu carved out another chance for Osman but after turning inside the area, he wasted another excellent opportunity by curling his shot over Foster’s crossbar. The teams went in 0-0 at half time with Blues heaving a collective sigh of relief.

Did McLeish change it? Did he hell! Out came the same team. There was no fluency, no innovation but what can you expect from a midfield containing, Ferguson, Bowyer, who was dreadful for the third game running, and Fahey who in fairness did alright but he is never going to pick a pass or provide a telling run. Larsson was having a mare and was playing far too deep to have any influence and Hleb; oh yes, I’d almost forgotten him, is still not at his imperious best. Jerome did his best and ran around a lot but there was no support for him when it mattered and he simply isn’t good enough to plough a lone furrow like he is being asked to. Carr had the first decent game for him for a while, Ridgewell was the best of a poor bunch, Roger Johnson had a poor game for him and was troubled by the ageing Yakubu whose star has been on the wane for a while now. Scott Dann was solid enough.

Inevitably, as anyone in the ground could see, Everton were going to score if nothing was done and so they did. Yes there was an element of fortune about the goal when Johnson deflected a cross from Osman past the helpless Foster who had called loudly for the ball and had the cross covered; game over! Yes honestly, game over; there was nothing in Birmingham’s performance to suggest that they could get back into the game. We were one paced (slow) ponderous, lacking in guile, innovation, tempo, drive and most of all PASSION!

There was a mild response of sorts and a good move which put Carr through only for the full back to be felled by Baines in the box produced a lot of appeals but cut no ice with Mr Dowd who as we all know only gives penalties in our matches when they are for the opposition. In fairness I think his Assistant on our side failed to give it as he had the best view. It looked a good shout to me. We had another good call for a penalty a little later for hand ball when an Everton defender led with his arm and Lawro and Alan Hansen both felt it should have been given but do you know it would have been wholly undeserved and against the overall temperence of the game.

On 70 minutes Zigic belatedly came on for Fahey as we went 4-4-2, a change that should have taken place at half-time. Derbyshire replaced Jerome who must be getting heartily peed off with running around all on his own in total isolation with little or no help only to get the hook when the threat of some help arrives! Needless to say it made little difference and Cahill headed in a point blank header in the last few seconds of time added on from a cross from Baines just to rub it in.

This was a truly awful performance even worse than the rubbish witnessed against Wigan. Howard in the Everton goal could have stayed in bed with his missus all afternoon back in Liverpool and he would not have been missed. He did not have a single shot to save all game not that any of our lot could hit a fat bird’s arse with a banjo at the moment. Blues mustered only two attempts off target in the whole game and we were supposed to be at home! There wasn’t a single yellow card given in this passionless affair. Alex McLeish is apparently annoyed that there were dissenting boos at half and full time and he feels that after an 18 games unbeaten run that the team didn’t deserve it. Sorry Alex but the least the Blues’ fans expect is that the team get after the opposition, press them and disrupt their rhythm not as happened here allow them the freedom of St Andrews Field. Blues have only won two games in the last 17 Premier League fixtures and if we continue in this vein we will be in the bottom three in pretty short order. If we get into a relegation battle it is one we are likely to lose because so far the lowest position we have achieved when we have survived is 13th. Next up is Arsenal away when we will get nothing and Blackpool at home who are a team that we have a simply abysmal record against and one that I am dreading. I can only remember two victories at St Andrews against the Tangerines in my lifetime so it does not bode well.

Will’s wife, Juley delivered a new little bluenose weighing 8lb 5oz late last night and as he held his new born son the little fella started to cry loudly. At a loss as to what to do he started to sing softly the words of ‘Keep Right On to the End of the Road.’ The baby stopped crying and drifted off to sleep to the amazement of the nurses. He said to his little son “The best thing that has happened today is your arrival but I’m sorry to tell you that we lost at football to Everton 2-0” He added “Son, you will get to realise that our team’s name is Birmingham City nil.” Congratulations Will from the every member of the bluenose nation.

The Good: The arrival of Will’s new son and the fact that the proud Dad was spared going to this match.
The Bad: Our performance – as bad as I have seen and this is the last two and a half games now.
The Ugly: Everton’s away kit!
KRO SOTV
Foster 7; Carr 6, Johnson 4, Dann 6, Ridgewell 7; Larsson 4, Ferguson 5, Hleb 5 Fahey 5, (Zigic 70, 5) Bowyer 4, Jerome 5 (Derbyshire 80 N/A)
Howard 7; Neville 7, Distin 7, Jagielka 7, Baines 7; Coleman 7 (Bilyaletdinov 86, N/A), Fellaini 8; Arteta 8, Osman 9 Cahill 8, Yakubu 8 (Heitinga 79, N/A)